Five WTF Observations After Bingewatching Three Seasons Of Scandal
Kerry Washington’s Acting Is... Uh...
Yeah yeah, she’s a goddess, blahblah. But she has ONE facial expression. One.
Fitz Is A Horrible Human
Cheats on his wife a bazillion times? Check. Manipulates her into loving him again/thinking there is hope every time Olivia walks out on him, then throws her to the curb as soon as Olivia is back? You bet. Then there was that time he broke Olivia’s heart only to have sex with her in a weird closet and then make her feel like a blowup doll. THAT was charming. (Repeat this cycle endlessly). And who can forget the time he told her father, to his FACE, about the way Olivia tastes?? Yet we’re all supposed to swoon when he comes on camera? Thank you for setting our standards high, Scandal writer’s room.
It Takes Olivia More Than The Length Of One Episode To Sleep With Jake Ballard
Have you seen those eyes? Are you kidding me??
(seriously, do you SEE THIS??)
This Show Is Secretly Just Subliminal Advertising For Wine
“I just watched an episode of Scandal and suddenly feel like investigating that new Total Wine & More around the corner,” you ask yourself. “I wonder why?”
Junior High-Level Symbolism (Yes, The Washington Monument Is A Phallic Symbol, Good Jobs Guys)
Alas, the internet has not discovered this yet, so all I have is this House Of Cards poster to prove my point, lest I use a grainy cell phone video of my own TV screen. Most frequently occurs before and after sexually charged interactions involving Olivia or Cyrus. (Just watch for it. It happens all the time.)