Jurassic World (Presented By Mercedes-Benz)
If you came out of Jurassic World with a mysterious, unprecedented urge to buy a Mercedes-Benz, it’s probably because the endless parade of Mercedes vehicles may have actually gotten more face time than Chris Pratt. (No I didn’t calculate this. It’s called griping.)
All in all, the movie wasn’t bad – but it wasn’t great either. For a film that nearly toppled The Avengers as the biggest opening weekend flick of all time, I would have expected a bit more character development and a little less action-for-the-sake-of-action, and you know, fewer superfluous close-ups of Mercedes-Benz grills.
I can now tell you what a Mercedes version of a Jeep looks like, what a Mercedes van looks like, what a Mercedes cross-over looks like, and what a Mercedes motorcycle looks like. I can also tell you what Chris Pratt looks like when he is romancing a woman, shirtless, and being all-around hilarious, but those are from my experiences watching him in Guardians of the Galaxy and/or Everwood (yes, my fandom goes back to the WB), Parks & Recreation, and Guardians of the Galaxy again (although let’s face it, the ratio of time spent zoomed in on Zoe Saldana’s ass versus the one brief scene he was shirtless was greatly skewed).
If for some reason you are immune to product placement, the following video might give you a hint that I am not completely insane:
The most character development seemed to be dedicated to the kids – the two nephews of Bryce Dallas Howard’s character, Claire (who has an executive position at the park). We see the older sibling, Zach, evolve from a teen who only cares about making googly eyes at girls into someone who, when confronted with terror, assumes the role of protector and comforter for his little brother, Gray. (Also, WTF kind of a name is “Gray” for a kid? Is that really happening now? And if it has anything to do with a certain novel series/movie trilogy, excuse me while I go hurl.)
Then there’s Gray, who we see first as an annoying, hyperactive kid who only cares about seeing dinos and pestering his older brother, but we then eventually see as a hurt little kid just trying to forget about his parents divorce.
That’s all well and fine, but did you seen any movie posters leading you to believe this movie was about a couple of kids? Or even a trailer suggesting that? Nope. You saw a bunch of posters and teasers with Chris Pratt looking like a badass who could CONTROL RAPTORS, i.e. the villains of the entire film franchise. Oh yeah, and he totally looked like he was going to win over the obviously frigid Claire. I say obviously frigid based mostly upon her wardrobe, because who can wear that much white in an amusement park everyday without getting a single stain on her clothes??
All in all, those two didn’t get nearly as much screen time as I would have hoped. And their character development was pretty minimal. Sure, it turns out Claire isn’t frigid, but is really just a less obvious badass until put to the test. I mean, hello, she purposefully gets a T-Rex to chase her in order to save the day. Baller, much?
And Chris Pratt’s character, Owen? Well he starts off as a badass and ends up as a badass… with a woman. So I guess that’s development, technically.
Nitpicking aside, it was fun to watch, particularly because the film was clearly paying homage to the original flick. The plot followed an almost identical arc, and then there was the little visit back to the park’s original site in which the loose, genetically-modified dinosaur lets loose a roar beneath an atrium just a T-Rex did in Jurassic Park.
Although suspenseful, the film was also somewhat light-hearted, and definitely poked fun at itself. It also quite obviously knew its audience, appealing to twisted millennial humor (Sharknado, anyone?) by having a T-Rex and velociraptor team up, beat the crap out of the super-dino, and essentially feed it to an even bigger, water dwelling dinosaur. If that didn’t get applause among the audience in your theater, I’m actually shocked.